Get out and happen to things!
It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
Leonardo da Vinci
I love that quote by Leonardo da Vinci. It really makes me ask myself if I’m being too passive and expecting things to happen to me. In that state, things rarely do happen how we want them, do they?
This post takes a look at that stuck feeling, that feeling of inertia, that something needs to happen to bring back your energy and drive. I have a podcast on this if you prefer to listen.
Feeling Stuck?
Are you feeling a bit stuck? That a creeping feeling of boredom or frustration is overshadowing your days? Do you feel a bit ‘meh” about the day to day and feel that you have potential but you’re just not reaching it.
Or maybe you want something to happen – a promotion, more sales, you feel a bit invisible. You may find that doing the same old is not cutting it any more and know that it’s time to start doing something to get out of the rut.
Sometimes things don’t progress as you’d like. You might not be getting the attention or support you need for your project or business. You may be frustrated at work and dreaming of promotion or another job. You might just be a bit bored with life even. You might feel that you are not making things happen.
Lots of ambitious, successful people I work with come to me with all these feelings. Knowing that they just aren’t happy to carry on like this. Knowing that something needs to change but there is a host of reasons why they can’t break out of it.
Inertia
You might be in a state of inertia. And that can be frustrating. It can feel like quite a weight and if you have a strong inner critical voice, it might be telling you you’re useless for not knowing how to get out and change things. This just makes things worse, taking away any energy or get up and go, stopping you taking any chances or stepping out of the comfort zone and keeping you just where you are. Your energy levels can drop when you’re feeling a sense of inertia and it can seem even harder to find the drive to do anything.
Inertia can be down to many things. You may not have the confidence to do what you want, you may not have found your purpose or you may be paralysed by concern about what others think (this blog might help). Or you might have had a knock back, a bump in the road and have retreated into a safe space, your comfort zone. You might have got stuck and not realise it, but only know that things are feeling a bit frustrating. That you aren’t looking forward to anything, don’t feel inspired or challenged. You might find your patience levels are getting low, you’re not as tolerant as you’d like to be. You’re beating yourself up just a bit more than usual (stop this it’s not helpful). You might be running a script or inner narrative that you tried it once and it didn’t work out so what’s the point?
Well, the good news is that you can choose to change things.
The wonderful thing is, that you can choose what to do next. You can choose to sit back and watch things happen to others, wondering why it’s not happening to you. There’s a variety of reasons for doing this and very often it’s to do with either lack of clarity about what exactly you could do, or a fear of sticking your neck out and getting it wrong. If you’re feeling a bit stuck or frustrated, ask yourself what the reason is for not doing something about it. This is a very good place to start. Even better if you can sit down with a friend or someone you trust, as just running through it in your mind can mean you’ll let yourself off the hook as you’ll possibly convince yourself there’s no point. It’s hugely liberating when we realise that we have choices, that we CAN do something. Identifying the things holding us back is a step towards change. Then you can start challenging them or changing them.
I do love the quote from Leonardo da Vinci. And he adds:
Every time I choose to do something as opposed to nothing, I notice that things happen.
It’s so true. Once you decide to arrange that meeting, talk to that person, do something you might feel a little bit uncomfortable about, little things start to change. You start seeing things differently. Like a stack of dominoes, one little change brings about another and you start gathering momentum. And before you know it you feel like things are moving again. And imagine if you’re doing these things with a clear idea of what you want out of it. There’ll be no stopping you!
Comfort Zone – why not step out?
This deserves a whole podcast of its own – but in short, stepping out of this cosy place, where little excitement happens, can be exhilarating. You really start to see yourself develop and grow outside of this zone. And the more you do it, the more comfortable it feels (and then you can choose whether you want to challenge yourself further – but that’s your choice – you may be happy with where you get to and choose to stay). If you have a tendency to catastrophise, ie go ahead of yourself imagining the worst case scenarios far down the road, you might hold yourself back out of fear that something terrible will happen. For example, I’ve coached people who are doing really well, have secure homes and families, but their thoughts run away with them when they need to do something brave like have that difficult conversation with a colleague. They find themselves fearing that there might be a complaint, which will lead to them losing their job, which will lead to loss of house, family and they’ll be out on the street. It’s easy then to understand why they dread that conversation. It’s always worth exploring these thoughts and asking yourself, how realistic is this? You can try something small and build on it. Then you maintain a level of control.
Take Action, insight follows
It might mean reaching out to someone that inspires you or could help you. You might challenge yourself to arrange to meet someone who could move your project forward, or speak at an event where your ideal client will hear you. You might start a conversation with someone at an event and tell them about what you’re doing. It might be doing something that your inner voice tells you not to do – have that difficult conversation, do that thing you’ve always feared. The more you do this, the more likely others will approach you for your services or think of you when they are looking to promote. They will also find you inspiring as you are setting the example. If something is not working, doing the same old will not change anything. Taking action, doing something, will shift the status quo and you’ll get insight into the directions things are moving. Then you can make the decision of what to do next.
It does take a bit of courage as not all of us like or feel comfortable doing these things. We might be consumed by a fear of failure, all too often a fear when challenged makes little sense. Even doing something small, like emailing a potential client or two or setting up that meeting with a team member can start the ball rolling. You’ll break out of the inertia (and stepping out of the familiar, out of the comfort zone can be scary), but it is definitely where things start happening.
Get out there and ‘happen to things’
Ask yourself what it is you want and what you can do to get there. Choose what you’re going to do about it and go out and ‘happen to things‘. Sticking to the ‘same old’ will get you the ‘same old’, so find a way of doing something, even something small, to start making things happen.
So take a moment to think. You feel stuck now. What would you like to have happen? And what one small thing can you do to shift things, change the energy, challenge yourself? Approach it with curiosity, turn down the self critical voice and see it as part of the process and a moment in time that will start taking you in the right direction.
As a coach, I work with many people who feel stuck and frustrated. Together we work out what they want, make a plan and I hold them accountable to seeing through what they say they’ll do. This can work for teams too, where often there’s a feeling of same old or inertia and something has to change. Motivation levels might be low, morale too and this can be where people start bickering, getting dissatisfied.. So if you are feeling stuck, I hope you find some of this useful and hopefully will persuade you to do something small, out of your comfort zone, that will start the change that is needed. Let me know if you want to talk through any of this – email catrinmac@gmail.com
