Is being emotionally aware wearing you out?
Can being too emotionally aware paralyse decision making?
Psychology Today describes emotional awareness as “including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others”. Basically, if you want to be a great manager or leader, you will be advised to be an expert in self awareness.
What I have found increasingly in my work with business leaders is that working too hard on being emotionally aware can backfire.
Spending too much time considering the reaction of others can mean that what you set out to do gets forgotten. If you have a change you want to make to the business, not everyone is going to like the change you’re making. If you become taken up with being in touch with everyone’s potential reaction and second guessing how it will affect them, then it is likely that you will never put the changes in place.
I am not saying that one should go ahead and walk over everyone that gets in your way. That is definitely not a good idea. It is essential to look at the effect your decisions will have on others, and see if there is a “win-win” situation. However, being overly concerned with ensuring everyone wins means that you probably won’t and neither will your business.
Sometimes, tough decisions have to be made, and yes, there will be people who don’t like it. Many clients I work with find this hard and benefit from building their resilience and self belief. Whilst they make sure that their employees are treated with encouragement and respect at all times, they work hard not to lose sight of their business goals. They don’t let the fear of upsetting people get in the way of what they believe is good for business and the majority of their loyal employees.
Often, we get caught up worrying about the consequences of our actions and these worries are based only on our own assumptions of how people might react. If we’re brave enough to go ahead, frequently we find that our assumptions were based on little or no reality and we needn’t have worried.
In my experience, worrying about what others think and how others will react is exhausting and means that no matter how inspiring and innovative a leader is, they will rarely put their ideas into action for fear of upsetting others. One CEO I recently worked with said he found that often, instead of of making a decision that would benefit the company and the workforce, he found himself looking at all the various scenarios and how others would be affected, and how they would react. This analysis, whilst important, actually became so detailed that it paralysed his decision making. Even the smallest decisions became difficult, so strong was the desire to please everyone. Even if the majority were likely to be pleased, and just a small minority displeased, he couldn’t bring himself to go against the wishes of that minority.
“I wish that I could just make a decision and think ‘to hell with it!’” he lamented.
A healthy dose of THWI (to hell with it!) can move things along if your decision making is being paralysed. Try it out on some of the smaller decisions and see where it takes you. You might find it’s an extremely useful tool.
