Tendency to focus on the negative?

It’s OK, you’re normal.

It’s been proven that we tend to remember negative comments far quicker than positive ones. If we have a negative experience, that’s the one that will feature when we next encounter a similar task or activity, and not the times when things went well.

Some people will be more expert than others at focusing on the negative, making them very hard to work (or live) with. They will always seek out what went wrong, remember bad times and find fault.

The good news is that it IS possible to train yourself to focus on the positive. It may feel a little strange at first, and take a lot of effort, but soon finding the good in everything becomes second nature.

Hunt the good stuff

When I notice clients are being held back by their tendency to focus on the negative and are feeling pretty low, I ask what it would be like if they actively “hunted the good stuff”. Whether it be just noticing the good things that happen or actually recording them at the end of the day, they invariably feel a shift in perspective and eventually, mood. (You may find it useful to read Martin Seligman’s book, Flourish).

If you’re someone who’s well practised at finding the negative in life, then it may take a fair amount of support and practise to change your mindset – but it can be done.  You may wish to work with a coach who can support you in this, or asking friends or family to work with you and remind you of your project can help.  Little by little, you will find that a little more light seeps in to some of the darker situations, and you start finding you do it naturally.

Start by noticing your thoughts.  When you spot a negative thought arising, ask yourself “is there a more useful thought I could have?“.  Even by doing this, you are likely to bring another perspective to your thinking.  It can also help to focus on someone you know who is lucky enough to think in a more positive way. Ask yourself what they might say when faced with a similar situation.

Ask yourself “what is good about this situation”

No matter how small, bring the focus to the positive.

It can help to set yourself a project, just like you would at work.  Some like to all it “Project Good Stuff” for example.  Realise that to succeed at this project can take a bit of work, but that your are determined to make it a success.  What do you find useful when completing a project at work? Employ all these tools when working on “Project Good Stuff”.  Set yourself small milestones, and celebrate when you have achieved them.

This is just a short introduction to finding the positive aspects in work and life – but I’d love to know if they make a difference.

Catrin MacDonnell 16/11/15