9 tips to make sense of managing people
Listen to this on my podcast
You might find this useful if you’re a business owner managing people, have responsibility for managing teams as well as if you’re part of a team and want to get the most out of others and yourself. Working with people is rarely straightforward – and at times it can get downright puzzling, frustrating and infuriating even. That said, team work can be inspiring, a great opportunity for learning, for creating an energy that moves the project or business forward and let’s face it being part of a team can be really enjoyable.
I’m Catrin MacDonnell and I’m a professional coach working with individuals and teams, helping them reach their full potential. Identifying goals and planning how to get there, working out what’s getting in the way and what can be done. Make sure you subscribe so that you get alerted when I publish a new blog. If you’d like to work with me, get in touch catrinmac@gmail.com.
During coaching conversations, whether with individuals or teams, I hear a lot about the joys and challenges of working with and managing people. Many managers I work with naturally spend a lot of their time working out how best to work with their teams and how best to get their team members to work with each other. Bringing people from different backgrounds, cultures with different thinking, behaviour and working styles together is not easy. Add to that the daily struggles that each individual has outside of work, that they don’t necessarily share with you and you’ll understand how many variables there are when it comes to working with others!
I’m lucky enough to hear from multiple teams and managers what works and what doesn’t and get insights into the inner thoughts and concerns they face. If you’e experiencing some challenges working or managing others or just want to optimising the working relationships, you’ll hopefully find this useful.
1. The better you know someone, the better you’ll understand how they work
Something that has been made difficult with working from home. Those moments where you chat about stuff outside of work, that coffee where you find out about their likes and dislikes. All of this helps you to learn what’s behind the workplace facade. Getting teams talking and interacting with each other is all time well spent. That lunch together (make it a learning lunch and invite someone to speak occasionally?) Or a Friday pizza. Not everyone loves the idea of it but it does really give insight and bring people closer.
2. Everyone has their own map of the world
No two people have exactly the same take on what’s going on. One person might find someone’s communication direct, another might find it too blunt or rude. It’s important to remember this when asking people to do something, when delivering information, when giving feedback. The better you know someone, the more likely you are to understand what works and what doesn’t for them.Your’e more likely to understand their way of communicating – the extrovert who always speaks up at meetings, might actually have low self esteem and take feedback very personally, for example.
3. Different things motivate us and it’s good to know what they are
Some people are motivated by money, others by acknowledgement or praise, some set their own bar for success, others want you to set goals and targets. Ask yourself how you can find out what motivates each person as this information will mean you’re on the same wavelength. It so useful for everyone in a team to have some idea of what drives others in the team, what their strengths and weaknesses are, so that they feel motivated and stimulated – this is where they’ll do their best work.
4. It’s useful to know what irritates us
I sometimes start team coaching by asking everyone to write on a post it what do you love about working with others and what do you not love. One person might put down ‘very chatty people as they distract’, whilst another might put ‘people who don’t engage’. Having a conversation around this brings understanding into why they say these things, why they might appear moody if they’re feeling distracted, and how they can navigate each other’s irritations! They are then less likely to take things personally and develop a little more understanding into why they’ve been appearing distant.
5. Consider your stress signature
Your stress signature is how you behave when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. And what others might notice about you in this state. You might become silent, you might become snappy, impatient, cynical, sarcastic. If others know what to expect, they’ll understand when you’re behaving like this and give you the benefit of the doubt, not take things personally. This can minimise misunderstandings.
6. Being clear with communication
We all communicate differently. Not everyone likes to come in directly with what they want. Some people don’t know what subtlety means. Not everyone is self aware and understands the impact their words have. What I hear a lot is that people want clear communication. Being subtle,trying to please everyone and delivering vague instructions out of fear of sounding too direct, generally means many people aren’t clear about what you’re wanting. Better to err on the direct side of things as then at least everyone can get what you’re looking for. Important to be respectful of course, but more problems arise when people don’t get what your want and therefore don’t know what to do or do the wrong thing than when people are super clear about what you want (even if it landed slightly uncomfortably to begin with.).
7. Remember they’re not all going to be your friend
Quite a few people I coach really want to be seen as a friend to all the team members. They really want to be liked and can’t understand why some members will maintain a professional distance, sometimes appearing a little cold to them. It’s helpful to realise that not everyone wants to be your friend, especially if you’re their boss. Some love developing close relationships and friendships at work and have no problem blurring the lines between personal and professional. Others are strict about separating home and work and find it all easier if they keep their boundaries tight. These differences have to be respected and it doesn’t not mean either type is better or worse at their job.
8. Make sure you listen to feedback
It’s easy to get overprotective about your own business or projects and when someone suggest a change or gives some feedback, it can feel like an attack. I hear this a lot from teams who really care about the business or company and want to do their best, but can see some aspects could do with tweaking as they’re the ones on the ground delivering. When they offer feedback (and this can be quite daunting for many) the feedback lands badly and the manager / business owner gets defensive. They therefore stop feeding back and start feeling frustrated or resentful. Whilst you don’t need to action every bit of feedback, you must listen and hear what’s being said. Explain why it can’t be done or changed, but thank them for the idea. Other times, it might be something that needs to be done and will make things easier / more productive. Be aware of how you receive and react to feedback. Realise that generally, it’s coming from a good place.
9. Beware of assumptions
When we work with others, we sometimes make assumptions. I’ve heard many times a new joiner saying they thought the manager didn’t like them only to find out that the manager really rated them but that was just their manner. This mis-assumption can mean they withdraw, behave differently, hold back, leading to all sorts of misunderstandings. How to get round this? Challenge your assumption, remember most people are kind and have positive regard for others. Try to get to know them a bit better instead of withdrawing. In short, keep talking and listening.
SO there’s nine tips for managing people that you can start putting into action now. There are lots more but I don’t want to overload you! This is all on my podcast Coaching with Catrin Mac if you prefer to listen.
Remember to share these with anyone you think might benefit – or get in touch if you have any questions. Thank you for reading!
